Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Ash Wednesday 2013 -- Dismantling Our Own Plans for Happiness and Letting God In



Ash Wednesday
February 13 2013, St. John’s, Sharon

Dismantling Our Own Plans for Happiness and Letting God In

Today again we begin our Lenten journey.  The Church calls us to a holy Lent, a time of prayer, fasting, and good works.   We examine our lives and repent of our sins, turning anew to the fullness of life in God.

Too often, though, we overlook the deep possibility that God offers us in Lent.  We can stay focused on the marginal details at the fringes of life, instead of opening ourselves up to the unquenchable love of God.  Instead of getting to the root of our problems and beginning a Holy-Spirit aided struggle against them, we frequently decide to obsess about the number of our desserts, the expletives we use when frustrated, or the clutter level of our dining room table.  God, however, invites us to rich banquets, has filled his Holy Writ with some of the most appalling curses you’ll  ever hear, and is perfectly capable of blowing in a storm to clear your house of clutter and leave it somewhere near Jackson Center. 

Instead, Lent is a gift to call us to the work of dismantling the lies and the fears that we let control our lives instead of living in the peace, love and joy God wants us to know.  The Lenten work of repentance is about turning away from the all the plans for our own happiness that we have devised, which will never be able to satisfy us, and turning toward a deeper relationship with God and all that such a relationship means. 

Our basic problem, which can be called original sin, is that at some point in our very young lives, we did not get what we needed.  The world is broken, and bad things happen to us before we can understand why, even as early as in utero.  Maybe we were in pain, and no one could figure out why.  Maybe we were sick and it took a while to get well.  Maybe we were hungry but had to wait to eat longer than we were able to manage.  Maybe we needed to be held and looked at lovingly, but our parents were dealing with illness, or depression, or working three jobs to pay the mortgage or whatever it was.  These events can be traumatic to a little person with no control over their body or their situations, but who are setting in place their personality and emotions.  And these events occur in the best situations, with the best parents, and the most love possible. 

As we experience difficulties when we can feel them but can’t understand them, we begin to set in place emotional drives to avoid similar situations in the future.  The three main categories are a desire for security, a desire for affection or esteem, and a desire for comfort.  Some call these our plans for happiness, because we can live under the mistaken but compelling belief that if we only can obtain this thing we feel we need, then we will be happy and our lives complete.  Yet, these human plans for happiness can never work because they are grounded in fears and built on lies.  The fears are the irrational but powerful desire to avoid ever being in the situations that caused us so much past pain.  The lies are that we can ever actually receive enough of something like security or affection or comfort to finally make us happy.  As soon as we reach a certain level of the goods we want, our desires expand and we need more.   We understand this.  Someone whose life is directed toward physical comfort is always concerned about where the next meal is coming from and what it is.  But as soon as that next meal is always guaranteed, than the obsession becomes that dessert is included or that it is all organically grown.  Public figures spend their lives being adored by thousands go into a depression because they get a letter from one person saying how terrible they are.  A multi-millionaire stops giving to charity because the market dropped ten percent and they are worried about their future.  The world is broken, and our experience in it has left painful holes that we can try to cover and fill.  Then the more we try, the less happy we really are. 

Finding where these holes are in our lives is the real work of Lent.  Being able to discover the places we are acting on our own plans for happiness.  Ultimately, this striving for what we think we want that can’t satisfy us is what God asks us to repent of during our wilderness of Lent.  Jesus faced the same difficulties during his wilderness temptations.  He was offered the same choices by Satan.  Turn stones into bread and have all the physical comfort you could ever want.  Have all the nations of the world follow you and love you.  Never worry about security again since God’s angels will bear you up even if you throw yourself down from the top of a tall building.  Jesus says, “No,” to all those temptations, but not because bread is bad, or because people shouldn’t love and follow him, or because he doesn’t want angels watching out for him.  He says, “No,” because anything less than God isn’t ultimately good enough and eventually fails us.

Our Lenten work, then, is twofold.  First we want to deal with the false plans for happiness we have built to cover up the painful holes in our lives.  Then, second, we want to open those painful holes to God for his healing and redeeming.  Both parts of this Lenten project are really the spiritual journey of an entire lifetime.  But we can intentionally focus on this work in Lent, and consciously make a decision to allow God to deal with our scars instead of trying to cover them up ourselves. 

Most of the things we talk about giving up for Lent are designed to help us overcome our false plans of happiness, but they will only work if we are actually intentional about them.  Giving up chocolate doesn’t matter so much if what we spend our lives doing is trying to ensure everyone likes us and thinks nice things about us.  If the soothing deception in the back of our head is that we are fine as long as no one is angry at us, a good Lenten discipline might be to say what we think, especially when what we think is likely to upset someone.  Then we can live through the experience with fear and trembling and realize we are still God’s beloved children, even though someone thinks our opinions about the Cleveland Browns are incorrect.  Of course, if we need to have things just the way we want them and to be in control of every situation, we probably already say whatever we want.  For those of us with that plan for happiness, we may need to decide that we will just listen and do what people ask us to without whining, and be as happy as possible while doing so.  Then the people who might need to think about giving up chocolate are the people who spend the time immediately after lunch planning the dessert they will have after dinner.  Just like the people who probably need to give up anything are the people who spend the entire rest of their day thinking about getting that one particular thing, whether it is a cookie, a shopping trip, a romantic liaison, a computer game, a work project, a bubble bath or even a book.  If we keep obsessing about one thing, even a good thing, then we probably are using it as a screen to hide behind so we don’t have to face something else.   Lent is a good time to identify those screens and start to take them down. 

Then, as the screens start to come down, we are in a pretty vulnerable situation.  We are coming closer to face the various pain and tragedy at the core of our lives, and we have set down some of the coping mechanisms we have used to ward that pain off in the past.  For that reason, we also need the positive spiritual disciplines so that we can take that pain to God and allow him to begin to sooth and heal the traumas of life.  These positive disciplines mostly include different kinds of prayer that allow us to build a deeper relationship with Jesus, because the closer we are to him, the fewer lies we can tell ourselves and the more his love casts out our fears so that we can face our pain and move forward.  Centering prayer or other contemplative prayer can be key, where we can just sit and offer ourselves to God.  Bible study, Stations of the Cross, or other reading where we allow ourselves to find out more about Jesus and open our lives to him are also helpful.  Regular worship and receiving communion are also powerfully helpful. Good works can also be important, so long as they don’t become another way of substituting something good for a deeper life in God.  For us, the most important component, however, is the decision to turn away from our own plans in favor of walking with God, however painful that walk can be at times.  We need to draw closer to God to be able to deal with what comes to light as we become more honest with ourselves.  The road will not be easy for us, but it will be very good, and in the end, it will not disappoint.

I hope that this Lent we will all find opportunities to let go of the security, the esteem and the comfort that we crave, in favor of a brutal honesty about our lives and a closer walk with God.  I also hope that we at St. John’s will be the kind of community where we are able to support and care for one another as we do the very hard work of letting go of the plans for happiness we make for ourselves in favor of opening ourselves to the light so that Jesus can heal us.   God calls us to lives of love, joy and peace.  But we must turn aside from the dead-end paths we are on in order to make it home to Jesus.

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